3 Types of Relationships
- Life Time Relationship – It doesn’t matter what you both do, this one will last forever. You may grow beyond each other, but you will always balance out. It may get rocky, bumpy, and ugly, but you were meant to be together forever. Nothing can separate you. It’s a done deal.
- Life Giving Relationships – Do not last for very long. They range from a one time meeting to a 2 yr relationship, but rarely more than that. They’re designed to put the spark back into you. They’re designed to remind you that it’s not over for you just yet. They put you back in the game and adds a spring to your step. They remind you that you’re still attractive, you’re still sexy, you’ve still got it. These short term bonds remind you of your value and remind you not to settle. They force you to get out of your head and start living in your body again. They’re full of energy, excitement, and the grittiness you get from being in the relationship. But, they can also be filled with so much drama that you burn each other out completely. It’s intense. It’s either fun, passionate or contains chaos. They can also be a doorway to the eventual life-timer relationship you want. They get you ready to be a better partner to someone else. When they end you’ll understand why these relationships needed to come into your life and why they needed to be over. Life giving relationships may or may not stay in your heart forever but are necessary and finite.
- Purposeful Relationships – Most people experience this type of relationship. They run for a year or more and sometimes decades. You both are tethered together – working side by side for a specific purpose. Perhaps the relationship came about in order to raise children, build a business together, help each other grow up, get yourself out of a bad situation, get a good start in life, teach you to set healthy boundaries, or teach you how to love. It’s not that you went into this relationship with this agenda and mindset, but that’s the reality you’re living anyway. When its purpose is fulfilled, the relationship will likely end or take a turn. Unfortunately, turmoil happens when we try to turn a purposeful relationship into a Life Time one. For this reason, this type of relationship causes the most turbulence, discord and hurt. We don’t always recognize it, but we should. Once the purpose is fulfilled the relationship changes and never goes back to the way it was.
Some people spend a lifetime trying to regain that former warmth, affection and intimacy – in a once purposeful relationship.
When the kids go off to college (if you have kids) you may realize you don’t actually like being with this person. ‘I don’t want to be in this relationship.’ They’re just now discovering that their bond was driven by purpose. This doesn’t take away from the time they’ve spent together. It is simply time to move into a new season.
Your job, if you choose, is to end the relationship with grace and ease – leaving your partner’s dignity intact. Meaning – don’t be an asshole. So when the story is told at the end of your days, your past partner can be sitting in the audience and feel both honored and served by the way you told the story.
If you’ve never looked at your romantic relationships this way – please do so now. This will allow you to have peace, allow you to heal and will help you feel strong in moving forward. This will close out every past relationship you’ve had by simply categorizing it in its proper context.
Mind Body Spirit Exercise Time:
When I completed this exercise, I stopped asking why certain men had been in my life. You’ll find that you won’t obsess over breakups and you can see them instead as completions. Those relationships have concluded and have run their cycle. They provided exactly what they were supposed to provide at that time. You’ll also develop a healthier mindset about why you both came together in the first place. Friendships go into these 3 categories as well.
Make a list of everyone you’ve ever dated, then decide whether they were Life Time, Life Giving or Purposeful. Once you have completed the exercise send me an e-mail about how this article and exercise has changed your life.
If you are considering getting married and have not decided where your current relationship stands – don’t move from where you are without hiring a Life + Love Coach to assist you in reaching your higher self to see if they are your Life Time lover, partner and friend.
With Gratitude – Your Life + Love Coach,